That is to say, another “first” bites the dust. Another first in this long process of getting past another tricky time of remembering all we are missing. For me it was tougher than Thanksgiving, Christmas and Sheila’s birthday. Why? That is a great question, gentle reader.
The one place we have received the most unconditional support right from the start is our Old Songs friends and family. Sheila was able to be Sheila without barriers at Old Song festivals, concerts and dances. We were attending contra dances when the girls were little. Andrea would be up in a back child carrier while Forrest was dancing, and Sheila would be in a Kangaroo pouch carrier strapped to me in their younger days. When they got too big, we would hire a babysitter to come with us for daytime dancing at festivals or flurries, or evenings a babysitter would watch them while we had a night out.
Then when Colleen was born, she would come to dances with us while the babysitter cared for the two older girls at home. Bringing young nursing babies to concerts was never a problem, once weaned, concert nights were a night out for us. Festivals, portable cribs allowed us to stay to the end of the evening concerts by bedding them down right there—the music never stopped our girls from sleeping if they were tired.
So, why was this Old Songs Festival so darn hard for me? Sheila was everywhere and nowhere this year. Sometimes it was the lyrics of some song that would trigger tears, sometimes it was a particular kindness extended, sometimes there seemed to be no blooming reason and the tears would fall. But two seconds later I would be laughing and clapping along with the music again. Every emotion was heightened.
This year the weather gods made sure that we experienced the whole range of weathers we have ever experienced at an Old Songs Festival. We rolled in on Friday afternoon to very dusty dirt roads. Years ago, Sheila helped me paint the SLOW dust signs along the entrance road. In fact, Sheila helped me paint many of the older signs scattered throughout the festival grounds. Friday was a sunny but cool day, and it got downright cold by the end of the concert. Maybe not typical weather for a late June weekend, but we have occasionally experienced that type of weather before. Saturday the rain moved in, sometimes steady during sections of the day. It was a cool rain with temps hovering in the low 70s. Most important the rain stopped before the evening concert, which is a good thing, so the concert could be held outdoors.
Sunday morning dawned with a morning temperature in the low 70s with humidity to match. It was like walking through soup. One short storm early in the day and the sun came out and it grew hotter with the humidity making it feel even warmer. We went from an abnormally cold festival to a hot, humid festival. Mid-afternoon the thunder and wind gods unleashed a torrential downpour, beating down on all these workshop venues with tin roofs. It’s incredibly hard to hear the performers when that happens, but good-naturedly they carried on. Once that storm passed the rest of the afternoon was ideal, humidity dropped, and the sun shone. The weather ran the whole gamut of any we have ever experienced in the past. Except in the past, we never had the full range all in one weekend.
The hardest moment was the drive home and walking into the house alone.
Forrest is in charge of the business office crew. This festival runs on volunteer power. There are over 400 volunteers that all give up some festival attendance time to help the organizers put on a festival of this size. There are multiple venue sites running workshops throughout the day, there is a dance venue for various styles of folk dancing with an emphasis on contra dancing. Our youngest, Colleen, was one of the earliest Groove Band attendees—a program designed for young people who play instruments or like to sing. Words from the originator of this program, Donna Hébert:
“Folk festivals offer a trove of traditional music, and they can also incubate and encourage skilled and aspiring young musicians. Today’s practicing kids could be tomorrow’s main stage acts. With that in mind, Donna Hébert began the Groove Band in the late 90s at Old Songs Festival and still organizes and arranges the music. Her daughter, Molly Hebert-Wilson, herself a singer, songwriter, and vocal coach, became the director in 2018. The goal of the Great Groove Band is to foster a lifelong love of traditional music.”
Our Colleen now plays in a contra dance band, and they are embarking on producing an album. So, I would be the first to say the Great Groove Band does indeed foster a love of traditional music. I may be Colleen’s mother, but her fiddle “mom” is Donna. But surely, I digress, yet again…
In the past we would bring two cars since Forrest must stay late every night of the festival. Sheila and I would leave at the end of the evening concert and be home by midnight Friday and Saturday. Sunday the festival ends about 6 pm, or when the last performer exits the stage at the late afternoon concert.
This year we took just one car on Friday and Saturday, but Sunday we would need two cars to bring all the personal and business paraphernalia that needed to come home. I started the drive back home alone. Missing Sheila, in that moment, became acute when I started thinking about what we used to chatter about on the way home. I would start presetting her for what needed to happen once we got home.
Presetting Sheila always made transitions easier for her—it helped to set her up for success because she would know what was expected next. Only this year I did not need to do it. I was bereft when I shoved the key into the door of our home. No matter how great this festival was this year, there were incredibly painful moments, too.
I keep reminding myself that this is all a part of the healing process and next year will be easier. Another first bites the dust.
You and I were sharing glances at one of the workshops. Sheila was always a presence, whenever she attended any music event. I felt her at Old Songs, too. That ever-present smile on her face when music was in the air...What a legacy she leaves, through you, and the love of music you instilled in her.
I so wanted to be with you this year but I couldn’t convince Glenn to let me go. Mostly because we were dealing with a crisis with our condo building. And he needed help too. Maybe next year?!